I tend to do nothing. I feel like I am doing nothing 80% of the time, it's been like this over the last few years. I used to identify as a "creative person" haha but I've felt empty in this time. It's upsetting... Like I don't know who I am. I have little energy to create and I belittle myself.
Sometimes I see people other than my mum and boyfriend, but I am really bad at maintaining friendships otherwise. I have friends and people think I am nice, but I don't feel like I am too close with anyone, even to my closest friends. Sometimes I feel forgotten, even by my closest friends. I don't see them too often. I don't know... i don't know.

But I saw a few friends today and it was lovely. I hope I can do this more often, but it's especially hard since I recently moved further away from everyone I know, and I'm generally broke. I want to invite them over but I feel like... who could be bothered coming out here? And I'm boring. My house is boring. My neighbourhood is boring. But I'll try.

I've been trying to draw more as well. I want to improve, and I want to have ideas again. Hope I can actually stick to it. Drawing makes me happy.

right now I feel sick...



18thspook: (Default)

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